... so I guess I'll blog it. In the past year, I have gained back every single pound of the approximately 60 lbs I had previously lost (and likely, plus more.) I have known this for a while, hence my silence on blogger. I feel like I've let down so many people who took motivation from my success. More importantly, I know I've let myself and my husband and kids down.
I'm not just putting myself at risk; I'm gambling with their futures. Losing a parent can not be easy. I am blessed not to know from personal experience yet at this point in my life. However, I can't imagine losing one simply because she couldn't stop herself from eating herself to death.
My joints hurts, my back aches, and I've even injured my ankles and feet going up and down my stairs everyday. But still I do nothing about it. And tonight, in a last ditch attempt to find out exactly how much I do now weigh and start doing something about it, I found out that I exceed the maximum weight limit for the Wii Fit.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I know what needs to be done. I know I needs to be done now. But I feel like I am drowning. I don't know why I compulsively eat, what triggers it, how to stop it, etc. I will go all day until 2pm and have not eaten anything and then, when I do finally eat, it's terrible choices.
I am headed down a really bad road and I need to turn around and run the other direction. I could really use the support and prayers of anyone out there reading this. Thank you.
Learning to redefine my relationship with food and become a happier, healthier me.
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