A Rough Week

The title says it all. It, indeed, has been a rough week. Total, I have lost almost 9 lbs in 1 month. I should be glad about that but I am having trouble not feeling like I should have lost more, mostly because I know I could have lost more. I've gained once (well, likely twice though I haven't weighed in yet today to know this week's results). And both times, they were gains that easily could have been avoided had I made more effort to make better choices.



I realize there are going to be days and weeks when life gets the better of me. I know that this is an endeavour to make changes that are going to last a lifetime, not just lose the weight now.



I am having trouble letting go of the past. I am still hung-up on the fact that I had lost 60 lbs (and worked VERY hard to do so) and then gained it all back. I have still not been able to fully get my heart engaged in the endeavor the way that it was the last time. I can't seem to get myself engaged for much of anything right now, for that matter. My bad choices haven't only been connected to food these days.



I need focus and discipline. And I am not doing a very good job of achieving them.



Grrrrr. Arrrrgh.